Not sure if this happens to you (When to perform, and when not to)
Hey everyone,
Just a thought.
In my family (not all of them, thankfully), it's common for them to say I do magic just to be the center of attention, but that's really not true. What I *really* want is to create wonder and happiness, performing something I've invested years of my life in and continue to dedicate many hours of detailed study to every day. I know not everyone has to enjoy magic, but it's genuinely disappointing when I can't share my passion and magic with them.
It feels like if you're not getting paid for it, what you do isn't seen as art.
I hope to be able to turn this situation around somehow. Has this happened to any of you? How did you handle it?
All the best,
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Hey David,
I haven't really done much magic in a long time, unless someone specifically asks me to when I'm with friends or acquaintances. If I'm in the mood, I might subtly bring up magic and wait for them to ask, which usually works. Or I'll just pull out a deck and mess around with it... you know, those little 'teaser' moves to get them curious enough to ask. Years ago, I even ended up doing an impromptu performance on a pool table in a bar after some folks saw me fiddling with a deck. But I always want it to be their idea, even if I might plant the seed. Another thing I do, if I'm really excited about something or preparing for a party, is to mention it beforehand, kind of 'pre-selling' it to build anticipation and see their reaction. If it doesn't seem like they're into it, I can always 'conveniently forget' and just drop it. No big deal.
And that's precisely to avoid that all-too-common thought of, "Oh, here he goes again with the cards" (for example). That usually happens, especially when we're starting out and tend to be a bit overbearing with our friends. Back in college, which was my most active period, I tried to spread myself out among different friend groups so I wouldn't burn anyone out... but my core group of friends? I drove them absolutely nuts! I'd pull out a deck, and everyone would just scatter, lol. Even now, I barely do any magic for them.
In Canuto's Fundamental Card Magic, he already gives the classic warning not to bombard family and friends with every trick we learn 😅
Yesterday, I went to dinner with my friends, and they were the ones who brought up me doing some magic for them... They'd seen the last one I posted on IG (I mentioned it in another thread), so they asked me to perform it. I ended up doing a different trick for them instead 😂, and then they kept asking for more.
I truly believe it's something that should just happen organically.
The only way is to try and make them part of the trick, not to present it as a challenge or a contest. If they're saying that, it might be because you're presenting the effects incorrectly. I'm not sure, I'd have to observe it.
Often, spectators can get defensive because they think you're trying to fool them, trick them, make them look silly, or ridicule them, and they perceive the effect as a challenge, a contest—something where one person wins and another loses.
I just uploaded a version of Three-Card Monte and The Grandfather where I reflect on this very topic.
Magic is meant to be enjoyed by others, to astound us... the problem arises when they interpret it as a challenge to their intellect. Sometimes it can be due to the spectator's own personality, and other times it's our fault for not presenting the effect properly.
That's why, in my case, during dinners with friends and so on, I try to perform effects where they participate as much as possible, where I give them all the spotlight and simply guide them.
But yes, you can also run into people who aren't interested in magic at all and try to sabotage you. In that case, just completely ignore that spectator.
I've been doing magic since I was 14, and I'm 46 now. I've studied a lot about the presentation of effects, and I really strive to make sure everyone has a good time.
I always perform effects that involve a lot of audience participation, and sometimes I do some really fun ones. Just to give a few examples:
The Car That Stops at the Chosen Card
Invisible Deck
The Robbers
Card Toon
They're always involved, even in the effects that rely more on technique.
Then there are people I don't see as often, and they always enjoy what I show them.
At home, my family never asks me to do a trick. However, when a friend or extended family member visits and asks me to perform, they really seem to enjoy it, often saying, 'I've never seen you do that one before!' My silent reply is always, 'That's because you've never shown any interest in seeing it!'
Totally, I just use a tripod, or sometimes my wife films me, haha.
Magic isn't for everyone; my family, for example, isn't really into it. I don't even bother asking them anymore, and I certainly don't wait for them to ask me. I tend to do something when I'm out having a beer, if the situation is right, but without forcing it on anyone. The most important thing isn't the trick, but the performance, and, if possible, the audience should be the star.
A lot of times you just feel like throwing in the towel, seeing how much money you spend.